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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a six pack and he'll drink for a day. Give him a 24 pack and he'll drink for a day."

"I used to think I'd never be able to be president because I'm a woman but now I know it's because I don't like drinking water"

"So Abraham Lincoln walks into a bar... ...and says, ""I'll have a shot."" Did I just make up a new lame joke, or has this been done before? I think I need to sleep."

"My football playing cousin went to prison He went in as a tight end, and came out as a wide receiver."

"Why didn't the penguin jump off the iceberg? Because he got cold feet."

"Very few people actually have celiacs. They're usually pretty stern."

"Why are steak puns so rare? Because they are never well done."

"Buying Muhammed dolls for charity, all prophets go to kids in need."

"What do you call a 16th-century seer who drinks straight out of the can? No-straw-damus! (please be gentle on me as you berate me.)"

"I was thinking of making sperm-brand merchandise... ...because sex cells"