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Joke of the Day

"Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff."

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler Usain Bolt can finish a race."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train conductor who killed everyone? He had locomotives."

"JESUS: [walks on water] JUDAS: Actually, the body is 60% water so it's only 40% miracle JESUS: You're killing me, Judas JUDAS: Actually.."

"Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?"

"Lock myself in the bathroom for an hour and a half to get ready. Come out looking exactly the same, but my phone's at 9% and I have to pee."

"Two sowing machines are sitting in a bar.. And one says, *""Are you a singer?""* Then the other replies, *""Why? Janome?""*"

"Some guy just read the funniest joke he's read all week, and then down-voted it. This joke is about him. What do you call an internet addict full of negativity? You don't. No one calls him. Ever."

"A bear and a rabbit are both taking a shit in the woods The bear says, ""Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit: ""No, not at all."" So the bear wipes himself with the rabbit."

"What do philosophical dolphins say? What's the porpoise?"