20654
Joke of the Day
"Who Shot First? Boba Fett or Jango Fett? Han Solo"
Next Joke
"Today is 4/22! If you missed 4/20, don't worry because today is 4/22"
"[Meeting] *Gestures to pie chart* ""Now as you can see this chart is not nearly as delicious as it sounds."""
"""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" ""I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."""
"Ive been told I'm not ambitious enough.... I've been told I'm not ambitious enough. If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard. That bronze medal would be mine."
"Boy: Dad dad there's a spider in the bath. Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!"
"How is ""Shark spotted swimming off the coast"" news worthy? Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different."
"How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the room is already lit."
"I turn 39 years old today. But they're Canadian years."
"My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?"