206485

Joke of the Day

"So there are two... There are two muffins in the oven, one muffin says to the other on, ""it's getting hot in here"". The other one says.. ""Holy shit a talking muffin!"""

"Did you hear the one about Bernie Sanders? Probably not, the /r/politics mods deleted it before anyone saw."

"The nice thing about Hide-and-Seek is your children voluntarily go in a closet and be quiet for 3 hours."

"What do you call spaghetti made by Jamaican? Rasta Pasta."

"What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven"

"The speed in which a woman says ""nothing"" when asked ""what's wrong"" is inversely proportional to the severity of the shitstorm that's coming."

"The only reason I've been going out with this guy all summer is because I have no idea how to operate my gas grill."

"[Breaking] Muslim terrorists have crashed a speedboat full of explosives into the base of the Hoover Dam... Police suspect this might be the first attack in a month long operation named Ramadam."

"How did Jim Henson die? He Kermitted suicide"

"There are only 10 sorts of people in the world those who understand binary and those who don't."