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Joke of the Day

"TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up"

"The Lion King has a lot of Simbalism badumtss"

"*gets woken up by a tap on my shoulder* ""Daddy, how do you get yogurt out of the toaster when it's done toasting?"""

"Did you hear about the Hunger Games character who got eaten alive in the Middle East? Poor Peeta..."

"What do you call a Hebrew that lives in the Alpines? A Mountain Jew."

"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"

"What happens when you see two twin sister witches? You don't know which witch is which!"

"No thanks Black Friday crowds. I do all my Christmas shopping online in a blind panic, as God intended."

"Did you ever wonder what happen to the ""Dude you're getting a dell"" guy Apparently he works at target now trying to get people to buy Adele's cd."

"Just completed a 0.00 mi run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies #RunKeeper"