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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the eleven."

"It's actually the voices outside my head that irritate me the most."

"I heard she was born naked, that slut."

"My girlfriend was on her. So I put it in her:"

"I swear, a pigeon at the bus stop this morning was trying to flirt with me. Anyway, totally fucked that pigeon."

"If you are what you eat then I'm a cannibal. Ba dum tsh"

"My friend's body temperature is currently -273.15 C Don't worry though, he's 0K."

"I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's ""The Final Countdown"" during the last 30 seconds."

"If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms."

"What do you call a nun in space? Virgin Galactic"