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Joke of the Day

"(Nsfw) How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate their tits a lot. Edit: I need alot (sic) of spelling practice"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?"

"Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes? Because at 69 they blow a rod."

"Just bought a thesaurus and when I looked, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!"

"My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life."

"Your mama's so fat... She broke the branch off the family tree"

"My guy hates waste, so we went to the store, picked out anniversary cards, exchanged them, read them, and put them back on the shelves."

"Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job."

"I can't even... ...so I guess I'm odd."

"I finally found a girlfriend! She was lost untill she found me. I'm glad I could give her a ride to her boyfriend's house."