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Joke of the Day

"As a kid my mom always told me to be loud like Helen Keller. I never thought of the fact that she was blind, deaf, and dumb."

"what do you call a sad ditch? a depression."

"I thought it was you A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, ""You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"""

"How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows, the findings never replicate."

"What does a cow do after a break up? Mooves on."

"Mountains are not funny. They're hill-areas."

"Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken..."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Witch Doctor Barbie ...with potions and face paints"

"My iPhone keeps auto-correcting ""My iPhone keeps auto-correcting"" to "" You don't have a fucking iPhone, asshole""."

"I'd enjoy your sports/movie/pop-star jokes a lot more if I didn't have to spend 10 minutes on Google figuring out if they're funny or not."