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Joke of the Day

"A worm crawled out from a plate of spaghetti and exclaimed... ""Man, that was one hell of a gangbang!"""

"I was walking past a store with one of my lazy friends There was a sign in the window that said ""No Help Wanted"" I told him he should apply"

"I long for the innocence of youth, back when I was happy just playing with a slinky all day Things are so different now. It's like, 3...4 hours tops and I'm bored with the thing."

"Cat doesn't realize if he succeeds in tripping me on the way downstairs to feed him, we all die."

"*wife grabs my wrist as I go overboard* Her: You're... slipping... Me: Pretend I'm the covers. *she easily pulls me to safety with one arm*"

"what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce? one guacamole"

"Life is like huffing butane... first you huff the butane, then you die"

"First off I want to commend you for taking part in credit counselling. Now, under assets you wrote ""like an onion"". Can you clarify?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Balloon ! Balloon who ? Balloon velvet !"

"""Give it to me!"" she said, ""I'm so fcuking wet, give it to me right now!"" And I replied, ""Fcuk you, it's my umbrella!"