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Joke of the Day

"Her: I like your hair. Did you get it cut? Me: I washed it Her: but it looks really different Me: yeah I used water this time"

"3 old ladies go to a baseball game with a bottle of liquor. They finish the bottle...what inning is it and what are the circumstances on the field? Bottom of the fifth and all the bags are loaded."

"Two women want to form a project group... Turns out it was a real misfit."

"*shows up at ur door holding a bouquet of flowers with all the petals ripped off* hi, i brought u som flowers that told me u love me"

"My favorite salad is a bunch of different kinds of Doritos mixed together"

"So a guy walks into a bar... Ouch."

"My friend just fucked his 14 year old escort. So, does anyone here know how to fix a 2002 Ford? It's pretty messed up from the event."

"If life gives you melons. You're probably dyslexic."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic atheistic insomniac? He lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"How many terrorist jokes are there out there? You'll have to c-4 yourself."