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Joke of the Day

"Barney Stinson ask god ""God,why do you make woman so beautiful?"" ""So you'll love her"" God reply. ""Then why do you make them so dumb?"" ""So they'll love you"", *Ba dum tss*"

"I got fired from my job at the Orange Juice factory They said I couldn't concentrate"

"My paper towels went missing so I hired a Bounty hunter."

"Hickory hickory dock. The mouse ran up the clock The clock struck one But the rest got away with minor injuries"

"NSFW what does a suicide bomber need virgins for i read that suicide bombers get offered a bunch of virgins in heaven but whats a pile of mince meat going to do with them in heaven anyway."

"A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer... Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should? A: Stick its bill up its ass."

"So two condoms walk into a bar... One looks at the other and says ""did you know this is a gay bar?"" ""Well yeah"" said the first condom, ""I plan on getting shitfaced tonight."""

"Wait ... ""El Chapo"" is a Mexican drug lord .... and not the guy who's been stealing our Chapsticks for years ?"

"A man goes to Macy's to buy a sweater. He swipes his card but it didn't register. The cashier asks him to try his card again and the man replies, ""I already did and it fits great!"""

"What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements? A parent, Lee."