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Joke of the Day

"DOCTOR: You should lose some weight ME: Ok I'll consider it VET: Your dog should lose some weight ME: Hey bud, you're going on a diet!"

"People say you can't live without love... i think oxygen is more important"

"Eric Clapton So over the years Eric Clapton has developed an aversion to Microsoft and prefers to use hardware made my by Apple instead. Why? Simply because Windows killed his child."

"What's red and sits in a corner? A baby with razorblade. What's red and green and sits in a corner? The same baby 3 weeks later."

"I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship."

"How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months."

"Why won't Monica Lewinsky vote for Hillary as president? The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth."

"my street gang has been walking down the street snapping our fingers in unison for like 3 days, we all forgot why we were doing it"

"What's the difference between pink and purple? Grip strength."

"Will no one rid me of this turbulent poodle?"