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Joke of the Day

"Subway must have introduced a new Genius feature, because they just suggested I might like a drink with my sandwich. I do. Nailed it."

"Reporters Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip? He just wanted the inside scoop."

"[Possible GOT Spoilers] What's Rickon Stark's favourite band? One Direction"

"What comes after Z? A question mark."

"US Mexicans who support Donald Trump Clearly demonstrate appreciation for a trip to beautiful Mexico. --- ^And ^come ^back."

"When a pterodactyl urinates, no one hears it. (silent P)"

"Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head. I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn."

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The 'musical chairs' was a bit slow, but 'pass the parcel' was damn quick!"

"[At dinner] Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat? Me: Probably like 90% D: So it's 10% balls? Me: *spits out food*"

"Hey Verizon, here's an idea ~ $9.99 for unlimited calls, text, and data. But, $179.99 a minute to call ex-girlfriends."