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Joke of the Day

"Do you remember the first ass you ever saw? I do, it spat in my face and almost kicked me in the head!"

"My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god I had to explain that Buddha isn't Greek."

"they say penguins mate for life, but that's bullshit cause my penguin left me first chance she had"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopuss."

"How did the Mathematician relieve his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil!"

"How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?"

"What disease do donkey's get from eating too much fast food? Aspergers.."

"You are living, you occupy space and you have mass. You know what that means... You matter!"

"A son to his mother: Mum, I don't like grandma. The mother: Shut up, we eat what we have!"

"New Stephen King book! I hear that Stephen King is writing a new book dealing with the horrors of cat ownership. It's called Pffffffffft!"