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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the secret cure for everything that the government doesn't want us to know about? Exactly..."

"What's the similarity between a marriage and a tornado? At the start there's lots of sucking and blowing but in the end you lose your house."

"How does Hitler separate his juice? By concentrate."

"TIL it costs more money to make a penny than how much it's worth That makes very little cents"

"I feel more shame when someone glances at my computer or phone and catches me looking at Facebook, than I would if it were porn."

"Me: if u kill a murderer the number of murderers in the world doesn't change Her: yeah... anyway your total will be $8.49 at the 2nd window"

"A Mexican walks into a bar The bartender says ""You can stay, but you must sit behind that wall over there."""

"Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer One turns to the other and asks, ""*does this taste funny to you?*"" The other responds, ""*no.*"""

"I don't like the idea of bacteria in my yogurt so I mix it with hand sanitizer. It cuts down on the taste, but I sleep better at night."

"What's the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi? People from Dubai don't like the flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do"