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Joke of the Day

"Why is the dyslexic afraid of Christmas? Because that's when Satan comes."

"How are you related to the sun? Because your teeth are the same colour as it."

"I was wondering why the night had to be this long... ...Then it dawned upon me."

"No, they're not called hedge funds because hedgehogs control the global economy. What a silly idea. :) *later to thugs* They know too much."

"-Knock knock -Who's there? -Go fuck yourself!"

"Why does the divorced guy keep a tampon on the top of his tv set? To remind him of the cunt that has his DVD player."

"Do you have a Tex-Mex emergency? call 9-Juan-Juan"

"Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house? Because he was Snowden"

"[Interview] Boss: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm a risk taker B: Can you give an example? M: *Passionately kisses boss* B: omg"

"I've mathematically figured out how many upvotes it takes to get to the front page. Answer inside. [score hidden]"