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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug addict? The prostitute can wash her crack and then use it again!"

"Did anyone else hear about the nasty crash involving a mustang and a t-bird? There was horse shit and feathers everywhere!"

"How does a Scandinavian man catcall? ""Hey, you look like someone that could show me the right bus to take."""

"An annoying part of life in the 80s was when you're already late and, once again, you gotta shoo away some sexy lady lying all over your car"

"A customer asked me to check their balance. ...so I pushed them over and they fell."

"FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*"

"Anyway, the moral of the Chilean story is we now put a limit on the hider in the game of hide n' seek"

"How do you make an English Muffin blush? You nook at its crannies."

"It's all Greek to me! Local fresh foods. Trump drums. Brexit polls, LA beaver suburban"

"""For my next illusion"" the magician announces: ""Free will!"" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why"