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Joke of the Day

"What gets longer when pulled... Fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole and works best when jerked? -- -- A seatbelt!"

"I know a great knock knock joke. You start."

"those fake living rooms at IKEA should have a couple in them trying to assemble IKEA furniture and fighting"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid money for a garbanzo to bean on me."

"I just saw a guy wearing uggs get arrested. Not sure what for, but I'm hoping it was because he was wearing uggs"

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow? He got snowed in."

"Corrected: What do you call India's top TV Show? Dan Singh with the Sitars"

"I was at a very awkward party last night in an Igloo. I tried to break the ice, but it just made things worse."

"I wonder what appeared over Thomas Edison's head when he got the idea for the light bulb..."

"Wife: I told you to slow down. Cop: License & registration, please. Wife (opens glovebox): Divorce papers? Me: Look underneath them."