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Joke of the Day

"I've been trying to hide my erectile dysfunction from my girlfriend... But I just don't think I can keep it up for much longer."

"Why did the scarecrow win so many awards? Because he was out standing in his field."

"How many calories does avoiding eye contact burn?"

"Cemeteries are some of the most popular clubs in the world... ...I mean, people are literally *dying* to get in."

"Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None the sockets go with the house."

"What do you call wifi in space? Mars Bars"

"I've lost my boyfriend! He's in one of these browser tabs, somewhere."

"Damn, girl, are you Terms and Conditions? Because I just want to blindly agree to whatever you say."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie that was drowning? Because he was too far out, man"

"If you liked ""These Boots Are Made for Walkin"" youll enjoy other hits like ""This Toaster Toasts Things"" and ""Whats the Phone Number for 911"""