20509

Joke of the Day

"Every picture I've seen of Neil Patrick Harris the last ten years has been of him adjusting his shirt cuffs. He needs better shirts."

"Some people are named after where they were conceived. For example Brooklyn, Paris... My friend Ally doesn't agree."

"So scientists have invented a way to turn dolphins nearly invisible It's pretty neat, but I don't really see the porpoise."

"My son's default mode is ""protester being dragged out of a political rally."""

"Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? A: Turn off the carousel."

"Are you an old person? Because I would love to give you a stroke!"

"Knock Knock / Who's There? / Benghazi / Benghazi who? I knew you'd forget about me if Trump won."

"What does an educated owl say? Whom."

"Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead"

"What is a pair of sheep's favorite instrument? Two-Baaas."