205072

Joke of the Day

"30 seconds left on the microwave. Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone. Men: do the space shuttle countdown."

Next Joke
 
"Financial status: Googling ""sell kidney"""
"It's never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes on Facebook."
"What does Trump grab this month? What does Trump grab this month........ Octo-Pussy"
"Doing sexual favors for spaghetti dinners ...makes you a pastatute"
"Why do Gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers"
"I hate when my wife says her friend at work ""got flowers again today"" and I have to kill that chick's husband."
"Where is the lift? American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language."
"Pretty woman wouldn't have been as sweet of a love story if we saw all the times she sucked c**k for money weeks prior."
"What's a boxer's favorite part of a joke? The punchline"