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Joke of the Day

"I own a lot of cleaning supplies for someone whose friends inscribed ""dust me"" on my coffee table recently."

"The doctor gave a man six months to live. And when he couldn't pay his bills, he gave him six more."

"What do you call a horny asian woman? Actually, I'm not going to finish that. It's a slippery slope."

"Why do cow wear bells? Why do cow wear bells .......???? Because their don't work :D :P"

"Someone praising you is also someone being judgmental. The difference is that you like the verdict this time."

"I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple."

"the statue of liberty was a trojan horse thing but it was too hard to break out of and it's full of skeletons now"

"Want to know why carrots give you good vision? Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses before?"

"I'm sorry for the things I said when I was attempting to take off my sports bra."

"Las Vegas Floor Show What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts the other has a stunning array of cunts."