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Joke of the Day

"a jewish man told me this... Knock knock..."

"What's the difference between BMWs and porcupines? On porcupines, the pricks are on the outside."

"What's the difference in a dog, some meat, and a blow job? You can beat your dog, you can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blow job."

"It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs Because they always take things literally."

"LIFE is just a game of Monopoly and RISK."

"Pick a number, now add 7, divide by 4, write it down. Now get an apple, name it, show it a picture of your cat. Now go to bed,you're drunk."

"Why did the little tugboat do what all of the other tugboats told him to do? Pier pressure"

"I'd like to execute g0d. But how can you execute vacuum."

"What do you call someone who confuses Emma Stone and Mila Kunis in a movie? A bad judge of character."

"After a thorough diagnosis, my doctor couldn't figure out the cause of my uncontrolled flatulence... When I asked him what the problem was, he told me ""Your gas is as good as mine."""