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Joke of the Day
"a jewish man told me this... Knock knock..."
Next Joke
"What if a man existed w/one hand that's a steak and the other is lobster plus unlimited salad bar? This is the plot of ""Edward Sizzlerhands"""
"I've decided to delete my Twitter. I keep feeling that people are following me."
"The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later."
"What do you call an erection you get at a funeral? Mourning wood"
"Whatr do you get when you have communist lemons? LENIN-NADE. Just smack me."
"hello id like a reservation for two. also what is yr policy on cats. i wanna bring like seven cats. ive practiced fitting them on one chair"
"When someone says ""We can still be friends"" after a break up it's like saying...""The dog died but can we still keep it?"""
"What is Robb Stark's least favorite band? The Fray"
"After a long day of having my laptop fry my genitals, it feels good to lie in a dark room and have my phone screen fry my eyeballs."