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Joke of the Day

"Him: It's so damn sexy when women bite their lip Me: Like this? Him: The bottom lip."

"Wanna hear a cat joke? Just Kitten"

"Job interview What's your weakness?' Honesty.' I don't think honesty is a weakness.' I don't give a fuck what you think.'"

"He died doing what he loved: telling me I'm overreacting."

"What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops and a cold stops the nose."

"Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!"

"My work ethic could best be described as ""procrastinate as much as possible then frantically scream OH FUCK right before the deadline."""

"I just flew into town and boy are my arms tired! Get it? Because, I've been jerking off on the plane..."

"Hispanic magician: ""I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos"" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres"

"A woman walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre. So he gave it to her."