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Joke of the Day

"Chasing away everyone who's ever tried to get close to you is a great way to save money on Christmas shopping."

"If you met an eel in a top hat... ...that would be Sir Eel. (say it out loud)"

"Three elephants jump off a cliff, two land on the beach, one in the ocean... ba-dum tshh"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."

"History teacher: Which period did Cleopatra come from? Me: The one her mother missed?"

"As my friend confessed, ""My teenage daughter never even talks to me,"" I struggled to conceal my jealousy."

"I'm hosting a benefit for people who struggle, to reach orgasm. Let me know if you can't come"

"There are 3 types of people in the world. Those who know math and those who don't."

"A teacher asks one of her students what the formula for water was... He said, ""H I J K L M N O"" Teacher: What? Student: Yesterday, you said the formula for water is H2O"

"At the motel: Front Desk: And here's your key card sir .. Me: I'd like a wakeup call. FD: You're 20 lbs. overweight and your fly's open."