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Joke of the Day

"What Were Franco's Secret Police Called? The Gazpacho"

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"You're American when you go in to the bathroom, and American when you come out, but what are you while you're in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein')"
"What state do the most math teachers come from? Mathachusits!"
"My tablet burned me today after I installed Tinder on my Kindle Fire."
"Jesus may have fed fishes and loaves to 5000 people.... But hitler made 6 million jews toast."
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today... ...It is already tomorrow in Australia."
"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I'm making... ...then they call me ugly and poor."
"Just realized I follow Barack Obama and he follows me back. Excuse me while I send the leader of the free world a DM about Harry Potter."
"I have this joke about Ebola... But you probably wouldn't get it."
"Cashier: find everything okay? Me: yes [comes back 5 hours later] Me: [through the tears] i lied, i've been trying to find Kony since 2012"