204422

Joke of the Day

"A is for Apple - Hester Pryne"

"Why does Hillary have sex with Bill first thing in the morning? Because she wants to be the First Lady."

"It was nice of Apple to invent a mirror I can send emails with."

"Yelling at me for warming towels in the oven is not going to get the fire department here any faster."

"TIFU when my finger tore through toilet paper while wiping. It was the most ass I'd gotten in a while."

"I know sitting down to pee makes me less manly but I stand up to poop so it all pretty much evens out."

"Whites are now a minority in California you could say there is Juan too many Hispanics."

"The best stories ever told always end with the words""...and then I got the hell out of there."""

"Was looking at smoking pipes on Amazon & realized that CW could look at my history.So,I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats."

"""GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE"" KID: *goes kicking and screaming* TEEN: You can't do this, I have plans tonight ADULT: Thank you so much"