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Joke of the Day

"I bought shampoo for ""badly behaved"" hair. So relieved my hair will finally stop robbing banks and terrorising old ladies."

"my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl"

"They developed a new type of cough syrup for Elephants with bad tusks. They call it, Robituskin'."

"Where did George Washington keep his Armies? In his sleevies."

"What do you call a terrorist cowboy? A jiiiiiihadist. Not sorry."

"Can someone help me, I can't remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?"

"Was at a party the other day, there was a guitar there. I picked it up and someone asked if I could play wonderwall I said maybe"

"Why cant you suprise a snow man? Because its an inanimate object."

"I'm getting a restraining order against my debt collectors. As much as they call me it's really just starting to come across as desperate"

"Today i went to starbucks I got in and ordered a large coffee with milk, and the dude looked at me like i was a lunatic"