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Joke of the Day

"A friend showed me a funny steak pun the other day. I must say, steak puns are truly a rare medium well done."

"[me adjusting paintball mask] it's too bad we aren't on the same team date: yeah"

"I think this sub is dying There hasn't been a post ALL YEAR!"

"ME: who's a good boy!! DOG: did you just misgender me you genderphobic heteronormative piece of shit ME: what DOG: bark"

"What was Thriller really about? A negromancer."

"How do you prevent a canoe from tipping? Paint it black."

"NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks"

"Why crush your kid's imagination by telling them the Tooth Fairy ""doesn't exist"" when you can just have her leave a suicide note?"

"What did the gang-banger say when two houses fell on him? Get off me, homes."

"My mother in law just died... It was a blessing though. I had been suffering for years."