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Joke of the Day

"What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep."

"If I was on death row I'd request my own heart as my last meal. But they wouldn't be able to extract it til they killed me: Catch 22. I walk"

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."

"How many Will Ferrell's does it take to change a light bulb? One, AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"You can tell a lot about a person by their car.... For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman."

"Roses are red... Valentine's Day is Crap! I don't have a girlfriend so FAP FAP FAP!"

"""WHAT ARE WE TO TELL THE CHILDREN ABOUT GAYS MARRYING?"" Dunno. I'll ask my 5-year-old, who just married her stuffed bear to a stuffed pony."

"[creating animals] God- I want an animal with 2 humps Angel- And a cute face? G- Yes.. And make them spit at humans A- LOL G- LOL"

"""I am doing well."" - Russian man having sex with a well"

"wish I never spent that $20 my grandma gave me when I was 12, I could really use it right now"