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Joke of the Day

"Why should you not trust atoms? They make up everything."

"SANTA: Mhm, and I see here that you have the power of flight, which wo- SUPERMAN W/ ANTLERS TIED TO HIS HEAD: Look, I really need this job."

"A wizard walks into a gay bar and disappears with a poof."

"Whats a Mexican's Favorite Sport? Cross Country"

"So I ordered some General Pao chicken They gave me a bowl of false promises."

"Our sex.. Would be a lot like eating caterpillars, a little awkward at first but totally worth it once butterflies sprayed out my butt. Top this pickup line so I can steal it and use it later."

"Q: Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Which one was bigger? A: The baby. It was a little Bigger."

"The problem with studying ancient Chinese art is I want some Mexican art a half an hour later."

"ALERT: If u got a message from me saying ""I Need To Contact Poopy Woman"" that was a hacker or error. I called the cops and they are mad"

"Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent's face there is no known comeback."