20367

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a donkey in space? A wild asstronaught."

"What's pink, bubbly and scratches at glass? A baby in a microwave"

"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... She said, ""No, but I have done 53 That's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Posted a photo of my clean house on Facebook and it was flagged as fake news."

"""I'm leaving you"" ""why?"" ""Your jokes are old and tiresome"" ""but, I can updog"" ""What's updog?"" ""NOTHIN, WHAT'S UP WI-"" *slams door*"

"I hope you brought the divorce papers... Cuz your legs are about to be separated."

"It's not the cat wearing my pants without permission that pisses me off. It's that he looks better in them than I do."

"me as a realtor: This house does include a crawl space. It's probably full of bones already, but you can always add more bones yourself."

"Got a Handjob from a Blind Girl last night... She said ""You have the biggest dick i've ever put my hands on"" I said ""Nah, you're pulling my leg"""

"What did the ninja do when he failed to kill his target? He sai'd"