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Joke of the Day

"What did the lazy suspect say to the court? I haven't done anything to warrant a rest."

"""So, doctor, do I have cancer or not?"" ""Oh Jesus Christ, holy shit, tons of it,"" said the doctor to Martin Shkreli."

"I hate lollipop ladies They make me cross"

"What's the difference between an Iraqi elementary school, and an Isis hideout? I don't know man, I just fly the drone."

"If you know someone who has too many kids, buy them a game of Jenga So they'll learn to pull out"

"It's a boy! ""It's a boy!"" I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel."

"hey atheists: if God isn't real then who did I just give my credit card information to over the phone?"

"If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza."

"Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer? Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system."

"I just made my Chiropractor's day by calling him Doctor in front of his mom."