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Joke of the Day

"I have to say the best part about being over 30 is how short and easy hangovers get. Haha, kidding, it's 7PM and I'm actively hoping to die."

Next Joke
 
"Sometimes instagram almost makes me wish I went outside."
"Why do hamburgers make good baseball players? They're great at the plate!"
"Folks I'm seeing Trainwreck tomorrow night. Then after the GOP debate, I might go to the new Amy Schumer movie! Yeah, I went there"
"What is Hitler's favorite video game? Mein Craft."
"Instagram is down. Please call me so I can describe my lunch to you."
"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? Same time next month? (sorry if repost)"
"What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know? Jiu Jitsu."
"genie: ""thats definitely your last wish?"" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] ""yes"" genie: ""ok"" our dog: ""how can i talk all of a sudden?"""
"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They've already screwed everything"