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Joke of the Day

"Guy: Why does everyone call you ""Gross Gary""? Gary: [filling a canteen with hotdog water] Nobody calls me that."

"I went to the zoo the other day, there was a dog there. It was a shitzu"

"My doctor said he couldn't prescribe me with Viagra. No hard feelings."

"I don't use my hands when I change my tampon. I just sing a jaunty tune and the Disney birds come in and begrudgingly do it for me."

"If Trump divorces Melania while in office... Will she rule half the country?"

"So my brother is dating a mermaid. Yeah, apparently their relationship's on the rocks."

"Do you know the Pistorious drinking game? Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck ninety-nine, but deer nuts are always under a buck."

"After being away from Reddit for a day, how do you keep up with what you missed? You go to 9gag."

"A Roman gladiator walks into a bar... He holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers, please!"""