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Joke of the Day

"Guy: Why does everyone call you ""Gross Gary""? Gary: [filling a canteen with hotdog water] Nobody calls me that."

"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. So, I got drunk."

"My girlfriend broke up with me, because she hated me singing Linkin Park songs all the time. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"What was the border patrol agent's greatest regret? The Juan that got away."

"Fun bible fact: No records exist of Jesus' life from age 12 to 30 because he was backpacking across Europe with his pet Pterodactyl"

"What's the difference between a microwave and anal sex? A microwave doesn't brown your meat"

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three ho's."

"Doctor told me I'm getting overweight Crap I thought eating disorder was bad enough!"

"What did the buffalo say when dropping off his son at college? Bison."

"Don't say ""tits."" It's crass and disrespectful. Instead, say ""lady tits."""