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Joke of the Day

"Never Forget Girl: Can you finger me? Boy: Sure. Girl: Oh yeah that feels good. --------- 1 Day Later ----------- Girl: I'm pregnant. Boy: Dammit I forgot to wash my hands."

"My friends and I were trying to decide which award winning drama TV show we should watch It came down to the wire."

"I hate being bipolar. It's awesome"

"A psychic dwarf just escaped from prison... Apparently there's now a small medium at large"

"What's the first thing the pope did after resigning? Asked Jerry Sandusky for his lil black book."

"The problem with kissing a perfect 10 Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips."

"people who can fall asleep quickly freak me out don't they have thoughts"

"Why did Moses see a burning bush as God? Because God planned on giving him his first tablets then. The mistake? They were Samsung Galaxy Note tablets."

"I was Given a Madden Game Guide My friend handed me a game guide on the game series Madden I gave it back to him and said It made me Maddened"

"Infomercials that present themselves as ""special"" news reports - Who exactly are these fooling?"