20299

Joke of the Day

"""How much for this melted ghost?"" Sir that's a bed sheet ""You have a lot of them! And they're packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL"" This is a Macys"

"What's 9 and a half inches long and satisfies all c*nts? An iPad."

"ME: I fell in the shower. HIM: Send pics"

"Marriage is like a seesaw. It's not fun if one of them is fat."

"Abs are for people who can't afford good food."

"There's no easy way to say this..... She sells sea shells on the sea shore, the shells that she sells are sea shells for sure."

"A pirate's wife asks him what body part he'd be most okay with losing The pirate thinks and replies, ""my spine!"" ""Why?"" says his wife, a little surprised ""Because it's holding me back!"""

"I ran out of coffee this morning, beer seemed like an acceptable replacement. Everyone is so pretty today."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"There's only one way to get a girl's heart... And that's through her rib cage"