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Joke of the Day

"I don't normally pisses off anyone on reddit. But when i do [deleted]"

"Facebook etiquette: Thou shall not hold a conversation under someone's status post."

"How did girls text before emojis? Hey I can't wait to see you tonight! PARTY HAT MARTINI GLASS NOISEMAKER BEER MUG CAT DOG SUNGLASSES POOP"

"When the space shuttle gets back from its last mission, wouldn't it be hilarious if we were all dressed as apes?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amazon ! Amazon who ? Amazon of a gun !"

"Me: I can't live like this anymore, I need to start eating healthier. Also Me: I couldn't decide between nuggets or a burger so I got both."

"What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger? One was fired, the other was terminated"

"What do lesbians use to get on top of a building? A scissor lift."

"Teacher : What are you reading ? Pupil : I dunno ! Teacher : But you're reading aloud ! Pupil : But I'm not listening !"

"Love yourself, just don't do it in public. There are laws against that type of behavior."