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Joke of the Day

"Why is it easy to defeat an army of suicide bombers? There are no experienced ones"

"We don't have mistletoe at Christmas so we just kiss under the influence."

"Me: lets go on a date Her: umm Me: what could go wrong *25 minutes later we are being chased by a pack of raccoons*"

"""Um guys wait seriously you guys I feel like we should be going the other way they're shooting at us? Um guys?!"" --horses going into battle"

"What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him? HIYAH!"

"I don't know what's more disturbing? My son reading a billboard that says ""LIVE NUDE GIRLS"" or him asking if there's dead ones."

"Social Security exists in 60 years... That's the joke. There's no more to it"

"Hannibal Lecter tells his first victim what he is going to do to him... Victim- ""You are shitting me..."" Hannibal- ""Not yet"""

"My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating."

"What's the worst part about being black and Jewish? Having to sit at the back of the oven with the rest of the dirty niggers."