202461

Joke of the Day

"What's E.T short for? His little legs."

"Plans to move the Russian Embassy from its current location have had to be postponed. Because Donald Trump won't pull his head out of the new place."

"Why do men get circumcised? Because women GRAB anything 20% off!!"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"[baby sitting] ""Hey, yeah it's me. No, everything's fine. Just a quick question about his legs."" ""..."" ""So how many legs did he have?"""

"The only drinking problem I have is not having enough money to keep buying it."

"The snack that smiles back! Children!"

"I haven't been ignoring you; I've been prioritizing you."

"[filling out job application] Race: Barbarian"

"What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid? A toothbrush."