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Joke of the Day

"Facebook should make an option, to block people from tagging me in videos/pictures that have nothing to do with me."

"Why did the mermaid cover her breasts with seashells? She outgrew her B shells."

"Rick Astley Will Lend You... Any of the Pixar films in his movie collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"My buddy David lost his id so now I just call him Dave."

"Me: I am sad, we don't have any cookie crumble for my ice cream. Wife: lots of things make me sad, like being married to a giant man baby"

"As an Asian, puberty doesn't hit us... our parents do."

"Why was Skrillex never in an orchestra? Because he would always drop the bass"

"My favorite German children's story is that one where some unspeakably terrifying thing happens to teach a minor lesson."

"What do you call an angry toilet? Pissed off"

"I was so excited. Thought I found an M&M at the bottom of my purse. It was only an earbud. I ate it anyway."