202369

Joke of the Day

"My wife just left me because of my fetish with pasta I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"I asked my doctor if there were any jokes in my body. No pun in tendon."

"*hops off a horse* alright buddy, your turn"

"Turns out Danny Devito isn't so short after all... ...just found out the figurines on his parents' wedding cake were actual size."

"Is it whisky? Two Chinese men break into a Scottish Distillery. One turns to the other and says ""is it whisky?"". His accomplice turns to him and says ""yes! But not as whisky as wobbing a bank""."

"When I'm really bored at work I like to write ""I'm watching you"" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people."

"I walked up to a group of girls. I said, ""Would you like to see a magic trick?"" ""Yes,"" they smiled eagerly. Then I handed them a David Blaine DVD and walked off."

"What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!"

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than three because the basement is still dark! *(Just heard this today, even though I know it's probably old!)*"

"can't even imagine how many delicious recipes get exchanged during the football huddle"