202286

Joke of the Day

"I can only imagine Hugh Hefner ejaculating is like a really weak firecracker going off in a bag of flour."

"At this point, a phone book is just a list of people who recently died in their homes before cancelling their landline."

"Depressed? Just imagine Ozzy Osbourne struggling to pour a giant jar of change into a Coinstar."

"Hipsters were tensious before it was cool. Because they're pretentious."

"Apple is trying to market its new iPod to the lower demographic with a newly named device ... ... however they decided ""iTouch Kids"" was not a good name."

"What do you call a pig who is a rapper Piggy Smalls"

"Simba was moving too slowly So i told him to Mufasa"

"Just wondering what is a funny punchline to: (saw this incomplete joke in southpark) A baptist priest with a huge boner walks into a bar..."

"Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor."

"Apparently my twitter session today has lasted 12 hours. I don't even miss my life anymore"