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Joke of the Day

"Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor."

"Dance like you're not the father"

"Q: Do ghouls eat popcorn with their fingers? A: No, they eat their fingers separately."

"Old Mr. Rosen goes to the Doctor Doctor: Mr. Rosen, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop masturbating. Mr. Rosen: Why? Doctor: So I can examine you."

"A construction site worker told his boss ""Boss, the shovel broke ! What should i do now?"" to which the boss replies ""We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"""

"The most unrealistic part of The Martian movie was... CNN's coverage did not involve speculation about whether Joe Biden would also get stuck on Mars"

"How do salespeople traditionally greet each other? ""Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."""

"[Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,"

"Several years ago, the military upgraded the AR-15 to an AR-18, but quickly abondoned the new weapon. When asked about what happened to the new guns, a general replied, "" They Argon."""

"Why wouldn't blastoise share with charizard? He was a shellfish pokemon."