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Joke of the Day

"I was trying to get out of the friend zone with a girl. She put me in the brother zone... Good thing I live in Alabama!"

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and a Hells Angel? Someone who comes to your door and tells you to fuck off."

"What do you call a quadruple amputee trying to swim? Bob. Same guy laying on the floor? Matt. Same guy hanging on the wall? Art. Same guy in a mailbox? Bill."

"What's the square root of 69? Eight something."

"I want to do to your body what Mitt Romney does to poor people."

"Two parallel lines have so much in common Its a shame that....."

"Finally found out why MTV doesn't do crossover episodes The FCC had some serious problems with ""Pimp my Pregnant 16 Year Old."""

"I love it when you call me Medium Poppa! Throw your hands in the air if you's a moderately attractive single lady with no kids or debt!"

"Him: Wanna bump uglies, baby? Me: Ooh, yes please! * Grabs two ugly people and starts smacking them against each other. *"

"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train theif? He has loco motives."