202010

Joke of the Day

"""Hot, lo-cal singles in your area!"" - Diet ads for Cannibals"

"What was the victim of the car crash wearing? A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is..."

"Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!"

"My mother-in-law talked non-stop while we watched Criminal Minds and now I have an idea for a cool new episode."

"Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone. "

"What do you do to dead chemists? You barium."

"The only laid I'm getting... is laid off."

"A slightly drunk woman. A slightly drunk woman watches tv and yells ""Don't go there! Don't go to the church you dumb bitch!"" Her husband asks ""What are you watching?...""Our wedding video""."

"IF you feel cold if you ever get cold just stand in a corner for a bit. they are usually around 90 degrees."

"Why don't we hear cannibal jokes anymore? Because after they ate the clowns, nothing is funny."