201980

Joke of the Day

"Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? It's called Sosumi"

"My german shepard doesn't like dog food, so we have that in common."

"Why was Stalin literally worse than Hitler? Because Hitler at least wrote his own books"

"A tornado walks into a bar and orders a Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a tornado. The tornado responds with ""I am a hurricane induced tornado""."

"If I don't wake up with Britney Spears' body circa ""I'm a Slave 4 U"" and a rich handsome boyfriend then I KNOW Santa's not real."

"Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ? Must have been a duck family A duck family ? Didn't you say there was a quack in it !"

"[maybe NSFW] How can you tell that a porn star works at your local gas station? Right before he's done filling the tank he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the trunk of your car."

"Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle? They like horsin' around."

"If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your ass."

"So I got a vasectomy today... Doctor walks in and says: ""you're in good hands, I've altered more balls than Tom Brady"""