201917

Joke of the Day

"If I had a daughter I wouldn't waste money on training bras, I'd trap wild bras and train them myself like our ancestors did."

"Never take for granted someone that can make you smile or the fact that you have something to smile about."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""P"" is silent."

"Anytime I fly over the exact spot a time zone changes, I yell ""88 MILES PER HOUR!!!!"""

"The Holocaust Wasn't That Bad ""The holocaust wasn't that bad."" ""Of course it was!"" ""I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown."" ""Why the clown?"" ""See, no one cares about the Jews."""

"What's an alcoholic's favorite book? Tequila mocking bird"

"When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees? In the Ark-hives."

"I don't think I'll beheading to the Middle East any time soon."

"What's the difference between a ladder and a truck? It's no bad luck to walk under a truck."

"I was going to make a joke about a carp that had hands But it was too metacarpal."