201775

Joke of the Day

"I stuck my d**k in a car Now my sexuality is exhausting."

"Stop making fun of the black people in my family tree! They're still hanging there"

"If you ever see a ghost DO NOT put a sheet over your head and make noises. They find it offensive."

"I like my eggs like I like my women Beaten"

"My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding. You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that."

"I walked in on my brother masturbating earlier. He completely froze. After what seemed like an eternity he managed the words ""Why the fuck are you masturbating?!"""

"I know Aladdin can't wish for more wishes, but why can't he just wish for more genies?--My 5 year old and future lawyer, probably."

"Where can Grammar Nazis find asylum? Grammargentina"

"I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first"

"My insurance does not cover Jesus taking the wheel. I checked."