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Joke of the Day

"It is known that masturbation eases congestion ""I swear officer, I was only trying to help traffic move along!"""

"What did the sign on the closed brothel say? Beat it. We're closed"

"Why are people not right in the head? Because on the left side of the brain there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left!"

"Q: Why was a blind man's leg wet? A: Her dog was blind too."

"Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics Interviewer: Could you give me an example? Me: Yes I could"

"What's worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom eating his way out."

"Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation? At the Howliday Inn!"

"My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven't even seen me in bed yet."

"Three of the ugliest people in town were found beaten and lying in the gutter... Police don't have any leads yet, but they think it was a facially motivated crime"

"Did you hear about the peanut in the hospital? He was assaulted."